Visas Schmisas

Okay, so we can't just say "Visas Schmisas" and hop on our plane. Which is why we may have to delay our move a few days. Hopefully the company (supposedly) in charge of getting our Visas taken care of can do enough overnighting and expediting and ...fist shaking? Bribing? I don't know, but enough to get our Visas here before our flight Monday afternoon. Enough of being homeless- it's time to move already!

Keep your fingers crossed!

Ode To Payson

All the sentimental...ity has begun. I was driving through Payson a few days ago, and realized I have lived there longer than any other place my whole life. Kind of scary. The billboard as you drive into town used to say, "Come for a day, stay for a lifetime." I thought it sounded a bit threatening...

So, in honor of the place that has become my hometown, (does that make me a hick?) here is a "pome" and some pictures from the thriving metropolis of Payson, Utah.

"Come for a day, stay for a lifetime"

Sounds more like a threat than a welcoming tag line.

Yet somehow it happens, to people like me

We move in for a year, then two, then three...

You feel a strange yet urgent desire

To buy a pickup, then jack it up higher.

Ride your 4-wheeler to Wal-Mart for huntin' supplies

Grab yer best shotgun to shoot skeet with the guys.

Wranglers and boots just can't be beat, oh

For Friday night dinner at Mi Rancherito.

And I know no matter how far away I roam,

The smoke from the poop-plant will always welcome me home.

I could have done much better there if I didn't have a little person next to me saying, "Push that button, type XPTY, did you push that button yet?" Oh well- what're ya gonna do...

Here are the pictures:

Goodbye, generally hilarious Oil-N-Go sign. I enjoyed the last display of "New oil! Nom Nom Nom."

Goodbye, Polar Queen! You have slow service, strange hours, and fickle payment rules, but mmmmmmm, greasy delicious chips... pregnant Phyllis would thank you, too, if she were still with us.

Goodbye, Wal-Mart. I forgive you for not sponsoring my volleyball team- it was a lot cooler to have my OBGYN sponsor it, anyway. (Look, I got the flag in the picture, because what's more American than Wal-Mart?)

Goodbye, oh majestic "P" mountain. I wish you luck during this year's wildfire season.

Goodbye, Mi Rancherito! Just because I want maybe an Olive Garden or something to come to Payson doesn't mean I don't love you.

Goodbye, tiny library! Remember that time your computers went down and you had to re-catalogue all the books? Ah, fun times, fun times...

Goodbye, McDonalds! Well, I guess you'll follow us wherever we go. I'm not too excited about that, but the kids will be glad to see your British cousins.

Goodbye, Payson Pool! Hey, what was the deal with the lightning always shutting you down 2 seconds after we got there? Psh- lame!

Goodbye, fountain drinks! You may be the hardest of all to leave behind. (sigh!)

Well Payson, there you go! It's been a good 6 years. We'll be back!

Tedious Insanity

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. We've been amazingly busy, but with ultra-boring, non-blog-worthy things. Here, I'll list a few, and you pay attention to the *pop* *pop* in your brain as the cells die.

Wiped out the 5 yr old stickies in the fridge
Removed outlet covers and switchplates
Painted all the doors white
Painted all the trim white
Painted all the walls (ugh) tan
Replaced outlet covers and switchplates
Moved stuff upstairs
Moved same stuff to living room
Moved same stuff to the boys' room
Moved the same stuff to the boys' closet
Moved some of the stuff to the in-laws where we live now
Moved that stuff to drawers there
Listened to information from a 4 yr old about Ben Ten and/or Spiderman (repeat daily)
Stained the deck
Scraped gunk from between kitchen floorboards
Called to cancel my cell phone
Called to change our magazines
Called about changing our homeowners insurance to landlord insurance
Blah
Blah
Blah


So, yeah. Only a week and a half to go of the boring, draining, mind-numbing details to finish up here, and then we can actually MOVE!

And then we'll have more of the details to take care of, but they will seem cool because they'll be all Britishy and new. Well, new to us.

"When I speak of home, I speak of the place where-- in default of a better--those I love are gathered together; and if that place were a gypsy's tent, or a barn, I should call it by the same good name notwithstanding."

Charles Dickens, Nicholas Nickleby



A few years ago when I was reading Nicholas Nickleby, I wrote that quote down. Now, as the movers are packing up our things and we are getting ready to actually move, I keep wondering what I am doing to my family- especially my poor husband who has only lived outside of Utah once- for 2 years he served a mission for our church in Honduras.

But then, this quote comes to mind, and I realize that it is a good thing for us to move. Hopefully, our family will be able to realize that it's not a certain house, or familiar things that make home, it's the people in it and the relationships you have. Those things will pick up and move with us wherever we go.

But yeah, it still might suck for a while...
But it'll it'll suck for all of us together? That's the spirit.

A Dose Of Awesome

During the last week or so we have had some of the craziest, busiest, most discouraging, stress-filled days of the whole England-y thing thus far. Days that require bringing out the big guns to cheer us back up. Days that we give ourselves a dose of this:




I just DARE you to try and be anything less than optimistic after that.

Thanks, Brian and Chelsey!

Cheeky People

This morning I had to call the rent-a-car place to let them know we wanted to drop our car off at a different location than where we will pick it up. The last day or two the amazingly large amount of tasks left on out "to-do" list, coupled with extra irritable kids, etc. has left me anxious. Even hearing the automated menu selection from the UK Enterprise location stressed me out- the British accent was a reminder of how much we have left to do, and how much we'll have to figure out when we get there. Usually it makes me think of the adventure, in a good way, that awaits us.

After being put through to a man at the airport location and asking about our car drop-off, I explained that since we were moving there and the car was to hold us over until we bought one, I wanted to know what to do if we needed to extend our rental a few days. Then, bless his cheeky heart, he laughed and said, "You're moving to England! Now, why would you want to do that? Move all the way over here?" I told him he was sounding like my mother-in-law, and he laughed again and said, "I'm sure I am! (and then continuing on in what he thought might be an impression of what she would be saying) Moving all the way to England! Don't you know how dark and rainy it is there every day? Why would you want to go and do a thing like that?"

I felt better. There's nothing like a cheeky British person to remind me how much fun we'll have moving there. Here in the U.S. (especially here in Utah) everyone seems to have zero ability to understand sarcasm. Sarcasm is usually met with confusion. The only people who would banter with me in the U.S. instead of remaining very serious are my family, so the British Folks have already won me over there. Here are a few more of my encounters with The Cheeky for you to enjoy:

When we landed in London for our house-hunting trip, we had to fill out a card with our information to present at the booth where they check our passports. In the space for occupation, I had put "Super Mom". We filled the cards out on the plane, and by the time we were at the booth at the airport, I had forgotten what I had put. The lady at the booth looked over my card, and then got a half smile on her face, which she quickly turned back serious as she said, "Super Mom, eh? Maybe I shouldn't let you in after all. You might show the rest of us regular mums up, and then where would we be?" Now, if someone here in Utah had read that, they most likely would have looked confused and then asked me if that was some sort of day-care business I had started or something. Five bonus awesome points for the cheeky British Folks.

Later on our trip I went in to a Forever 21-ish style store to buy an umbrella. British Folks "queue" into one line, and then go from the front of the line to the next available register. From where I was standing, I could see a few younger girls and one older, white-haired, pot-bellied, bearded man behind the counter. I assumed he was the manager or something. When I got to the front of the line, no-one seemed to be across the counter from him, so when he glanced over I raised my eyebrows at him in an "Is it my turn?" look. I did this again with a head nod ('sup style head nod) and then asked, "Am I next?" He laughed and said, "Not unless you want your electricity worked on!" He was there working on a broken register. The girls behind the counter stifled their laughs. He then said with a twinkle in his eye, "The way you were looking at me I though you were going to ask me to coffee!"

I'm sure I'll have more stories as I go, don't worry.

So, I guess if I am ever feeling overwhelmed and anxious during the move, I just need to call England and wait for a cheeky person to cheer me up. God bless those cheeky British Folks!

Language barrier

I went downstairs to see if Jimmy D was ready for bed, and he is busy trying to hack our new GPS. That reminded me of how the Britishy Folks call their GPS a "SatNav". So, while Jimmy D continues trying to beat the system, I'll make a post about how to speak British...y. I'll put a link to this post over there --------> on the sidebar where you can check out any updates as I learn or remember new translations for you. These will be ones we actually hear people use, not ones we found online and assume are really used. American will be first, listed in RED. Britishy will be second, listed in BLUE. I'll also list times when a synonym of a word we use is more commonly used over in British-land.

• GPS is a SatNav. Example: I turned into the river because my SatNav told me to.
• odds and ends are bits and bobs. Example: You have storage here for all your bits and bobs.
• a closet is a fitted wardrobe. Example: You are very lucky indeed to have a home with fitted wardrobes, aren't you!
• hard is replaced with difficult. Example: It is difficult to not get hit by a bus at a double roundabout.
• restroom is replaced with toilet. Example: Excuse me, where might I find the ladies' toilets?
• Take-out is called takeaway. Example: I'll have that toastie for takeaway, please. *Note- if you order your food at a restaurant to eat-in, you are charged VAT (value-added tax). You are not charged this if you order your food for takeaway.
• A hot or grilled sandwich is a toastie. Example: I would like a refund- I've found a hair in my toastie.
• Elementary school (ages 4-11) is called primary school. Example: My child couldn't get a spot in that oversubscribed primary school.
• Keds-type-shoes are plimsolls. Example: Might I have these pirate plimsolls, Mum?
• A line is a queue. Example: I waited in the queue for hours before it was my turn for the toilets.
• An underground parking garage or parking lot is called a car park. Example: our people carrier nicked some mirrors in the car park.
• A minivan is called a people carrier. Example: I look super-cool driving down the road in my people carrier.
• Stopping by is called popping in, or pop on over, etc. Example: If you'll just pop back in later, we can give you some forms to fill out.
• The ER (Emergency Room) is called the A & E (Accident and Emergency). Example: If you should happen to lose an appendage of some kind, just pop on over to the A & E and they'll see to it.
• A vacation is called a holiday. Example: What are we going to do to fill the time during half-term holiday?!
• Asking your name is replaced with asking what you are called. Example: What is your younger boy called? No, not the one with the pirate hat, the one with the ketchup moustache.
• Miracle Whip is salad cream. Example: With its tangy zip and a third less fat than mayonaise, a sandwich isn't a sandwich without Salad Cream.

I can't for the life of me get the colors to work today, so just know American words listed first, followed by Britishy translations.

• Cell Phone is Mobile (say it Mow-bile). Example: Could you text me on my new mobile number the name of the shop where you discovered they sell Miracle Whip?
• Pants are trousers. Very important distinction, just ask my kids. Example: Those are exceptionally tight trousers you're wearing! No... they don't make you look any less manly...
• Underwear is Pants for Boys, Knickers for girls. (Do you see why the above word replacement is important? It could get awkward if you said "pants" instead of "trousers in the above example, eh?) Example: Mum, I haven't got any clean pants to wear, and no, I won't just turn these inside out, I've got P.E. today!!!
• Jar is Pot. Sometimes. Example: My daughter has eaten about half the pot of Calamine Cream.
• Truck is Lorry. Example: Getting stuck behind a lorry in the construction on the M 25 is rotten.

Just don't let the movers pack the passports...

That's really my only goal in the whole packing insanity. I have higher aspirations, most of which involve a million carefully prepared lists, but even if they all go to pot we'll still be okay just as long as our passports don't accidentally go with the sea freight (40 days to arrive) or air freight (2 weeks to arrive) shipments.

Trying to figure out what should happen first was kind of like deciding where to place the dominoes so that all of them would fall down in the right order. We need to get our house ready to rent, which means new paint and carpet, which means taking the furniture out of the bedrooms, so maybe we should pack our stuff out first, but then we have to declutter, buy furniture and things we are going to want in our sea shipment, sort storage and airfreight things, but then.....

you get the idea.

So, our plan is this:

1. Declutter (mostly done)
2. Make lists of what goes in each shipment (sea, air freight, our airline luggage, giveaway, storage)
* I wanted to move everything except the sea shipment items out of the house or into one of the bedrooms, but then I realized those things are the ones we use day to day, like dishes and clothes, so I can only list them and then separate them last minute when the movers come for the sea items.)
3. Buy things we want shipped, like furniture, clothes, uhh, teacups...? etc.
4. Paint and recarpet

and that's as far as I want to get right now. I'll plan further ahead when we get there. I am also trying to arrange the flight out, decide if we want a long enough stopover on the way to break up the trip, or to just go for it and do it all at once, if we stay at our house right away and get air mattresses or something, things like that.

And there you have a small glimpse into the insanity we have right now. It is pretty chaotic and overwhelming, but we'll get there one way or another. So, if we accidentally pack all our blankets in the sea shipment and go without for a few weeks, we can get more. If I choose wrong and have a long and horrible flight over, at least we'll know better for our next long flight. There is a very easy to see light at the end of this relocating tunnel, so it's all good. True, we'll have a new set of things to deal with after we get there, but we can handle that when we get to it.

Now- I'm off to get our passports and put them in my diaper-bag.