No Place Like Home....s

Hey! I'm gonna blog.

Lots of things have happened since I blogged last. Here's a one sentence synopsis: We moved to a new house, had visitors for a month, visited America, then another visitor.

To get the ol' bloggin ball a rollin again, I thought I'd do a Britland vs "The States" list. See, there were a lot of things we were looking forward to in America. Space, fountain drinks, space, food, space, oh, and friends and family... Once we got there, though, I was looking forward to some of the Britishy things I'd left behind. So here they are, all organizationally layed out for you and whatnot!

God Bless American...

* fountain drinks * road space * Mexican food * mountains *

smoke-free beaches with sunshine * boating * junk food * hot dogs

* campfires * Old Navy * friends & family * country music *

exchange-rate making everything on sale for us people who are paid in pounds *

campfires * lack of inhibition * Slurpees and SnoCones *

Reeses anything * stores that stay open past 5:00 pm * SUVs and pickups *

weaponry (pocketknives, bb guns, etc) *

Good Old Britishy...

* roundabouts * cheese * chocolate * Indian food * public transportation *

accents * politeness * wellies * rain on the conservatory roof *

markets * healthy eating * spunky old ladies * friends *

international holiday destinations * history * villages * London

* Caramel Digestives * teapots * Lush bath ballistics * footpaths * countryside *

Primark * double-decker busses * the kids saying Britishy phrases *

overall Britishy-ness *

It looked all cute and in different fonts and sizes, but then it all went away, because sometimes blogger hates me. Enjoy anyway!

Quiz Night, Expat Edition

Not the cool pub kind. Even cooler.

I thought it might be useful to have some Q & A from real-life expats living here in Britland. I'm hoping to make a set list of questions and post answers from a different expat each month.

I've got a lot of questions I remember staying up at night thinking about before our move, and I think I broke the internet with all my millions of Britishy searches. I'll add my own questions to the list, but also want to hear from you!

So, here's the pre-quiz quiz:

What have you potential expats been Googling in hopes of insider information? What worries about your move have been keeping you up at night? What do you need to know to help you make all those life-changing decisions about your future in a country you might not have even been to yet?

Leave your questions in the comments for this post, and I'll try to include them in the quiz. If no-one has any real questions, I'll try my best to make a Q & A list of actual, useful questions, but I can't promise it won't just end up as a random list of insanity. That's just how my brain works, people!

drugged up and uterus free

Hey all! This is going to have to be a picture-free blog post, so let's all pull out our imaginations and dust them off. Good, good!

Today I'm all drugged up, slightly dizzy and nauseous, and I am 100% more uterus-less than last time I posted. That's right- I'm one of those foreigners who has come to the UK and taken full advantage of the national health care system. Now we can go home! Not really. I was planning on having this done after moving back to the US, but life likes to shake things up a bit, so I went ahead and had surgery now. The good news is I will have several weeks of free-ish time to blog. The bad news is that I might be drugged up as I blog, so good luck making sense of anything I write.

I guess today we can tell you all about the differences in health care between the UK and the US. Now, you might think health care here is free. It is in that you don't pay any co-pays, and kids get free prescriptions. I feel like a thief every time I leave the pharmacy and they just hand over a bag of drugs and wave goodbye. Even though I know it's free, I have to force myself to just take the bag and leave without feeling like I'm doing something shifty.

It's not free, though, really. You pay enough taxes to cover costs that it makes one want to start dumping tea into the harbor. That being said, national health care is turning out to be a much better plan than I had thought it would be. I think some of that might have to do with the overall attitude of Britishy Folks, though. Here in Britland, the average Joe, or maybe average Dave since we're in Essex, thinks of health care like this: "Well, what a jolly good plan. We can't have people running about without a Doctor, can we? Let's all chip in, and everyone queue up at the Surgery. (doctor's office.)" In America people think national health care sounds great, but the average Joe thinks of the plan like this: "Heck yeah the government should be paying for health care! Psch! We demand doctors and hospitals, I mean c'mon, it's our right as human beings! Pay up, government! Now, outta my way, I'm ten times sicker than you, I get to go first in line." Yes, he is grammatically incorrect, but that's what he would say. So... yes the health care system here seems to be getting the job done, but it hasn't convinced me we should do the same thing in America.

Now, being the paranoid American that I am, we were glad to see basic private health insurance was part of our benefits plan. I was pretty sure without it we would all catch random diseases and die before we could get in to see a doctor. It doesn't quite work that way, though. As far as I can tell, private health insurance in the UK is like those FastPass Tickets at Disneyland. Without it we would still be able to get in to see a doctor for regular things like sinus infections and immunizations. We would still be able to get broken bones fixed or emergency procedures done. For non-life-threatening surgeries, though, you "jump the queue". I only needed 2 weeks notice for my surgery. If I didn't have private health care, I could have waited years from what people tell me.

There are other perks, too. When I asked the nurse at the pre-op appointment what the private health insurance did, she said, "It means you get a room of your own at hospital instead of sharing one with a crackhead." Pretty much summed it up right there, I guess.

So, kids, here's what we have learned in this drug-fog ramble of a post:

*National Health Care rocks in the UK, but would crash and burn among us demanding Americans

*I no longer have a uterus.

*Private Health Insurance in the UK is just your Disneyland FastPass

*Blogging on drugs might not be as good of a plan as I originally thought.

More to come! Anything you want a slightly loopy Phyllis to fill you in on in the next few weeks? Let me know!

Remember Us?

Yeah, that's okay. It's been a while. Life got busy, then busier, then there was too much to catch you all up on, and more busy, some more procrastinating, more procrastinating, and now this snowball of excuses that could have just been summed up by saying life happens. I've been blogging to you all in my mind. You didn't see those posts? Ah, well, moving on...

I can't catch you up completely, so let's review briefly some things we've learned.

Britishy Halloween

Britishy Halloween is not the same holiday as American Halloween.

In America, our brand new country with very little frightening history, Halloween is a time when kids dress up in costumes as princesses or superheroes and everyone gives them candy. Older kids go to "haunted houses" and get startled, we carve pumpkins, go on hay rides, and we all have good clean spooky fun.

In Britland, an ancient country with a past full of druids and churches and witchcraft and starving peasants, Halloween is a time to celebrate evil and real live scariness. Not for everyone, but it has a seriousness to it I have never even considered before. Here are some examples of our experiences with this:

Cap'n Jack, our 7 yr old, goes to a Church of England Primary school. During Religious Education class one day they asked the kids to tell them some activities we might do in a church. Jimmy D and I were frantically organizing the Halloween party (the American kind of Halloween) for our church at the time, so Cap'n Jack shot his hand up and said "Halloween parties!!". I think his teacher might have passed out. After regaining consciousness, eye twitching and gripping a crucifix, she shakily but firmly said, "No. We do NOT have Halloween parties at churches."

I was going to physio (physical therapy) in October. While stretching my leg all sorts of ways I don't think it was meant to go, my eccentric elderly therapist likes to chat. The week of Halloween she asked what I'd been up to. I told her I'd been busy organizing the Halloween party at my church and told her a bit about what we had planned. (Trick-or-treating to cars in the car park, games, pie bake-off, etc.)

She looked very grim and said, "I hate Halloween." (bending my leg farther) "I think it's horrid to see the children running up to my door. It all goes back to the time when people didn't know if they were going to survive the winter, you see." (yanking my leg behind my head and over my shoulder) "They would go door to door looking for food to get them through. I don't agree with children celebrating a holiday about who's going to survive and who will die." (now ripping my leg off and throwing it out the window) "But... I buy a bag of Mars bars and just hand those out instead of telling them all this. It's just easier that way."

Ahhh, Halloween. I'll never look at you the same again. But I'll still dress up and get candy all the same, and hang on to my innocent, naive way of celebrating.

*******

Look at that face! Is that the face of pure evil or what!?

Evil clown, Scary Fairy, and under his sweatshirt is a skeleton. We had to scary up the costumes to make them Britishy Halloween costumes.

Me painting faces at the controversial church Halloween party. Admittedly, most of the boys asked for bloody scars, but still...

*********

Parental Visit!!

My parents came to visit during the last 2 weeks of November! Yay! It went by so fast! We went in to London a few times, hit the Portobello Road Market, road tripped to Bath and Wales, had Thanksgiving, went to Leeds Castle, and let my Dad try driving on the left side of the road from the right side of the car. It was pretty freezing while they were here, and there's not much daylight this time of year to sight see by, but it was fun anyway! The kids had fun seeing Granny V and Grampa T. They hadn't seen Sunshine in almost a year, so she was a whole new person for them to meet. She kept calling my dad Grama. He didn't seem to mind.

My Dad liked seeing England through the lives of residents, instead of just a tourist in hotels. He might have been saying this to make us feel better about the lack of sightseeing they got to do, but I guess it's true. They didn't just hit tourist spots, they went to an assembly at a Britishy school, grocery shopped at Aldi, chatted with the fishmonger at the market, and ate cheese and crackers while we watched Gavin and Stacey episodes.

Our next guests are Jimmy D's parents and 2 of his sisters in May, so our Guest Suite is available for bookings until then! Come get an authentic taste of life in the Britishy countryside. Our kids may run in to use your toilet at 6 am, but it's all part of the experience.

********

Granny V and Grampa T freezing at Stonehenge

My motley crew at Leeds Castle

Stinker's not too sure about that goose... it has shifty eyes...

**********

Thanksgiving In The Motherland

If you happen to be having Thanksgiving in Britland, make friends with someone in the US Armed Forces so you can get a turkey. Either that or be willing to pay enough for it that you won't want to eat it, because it's too valuable. This is fair enough, I guess, since turkey dinner only seems to roll out for Christmas over here, but still. Cut a foreign girl some slack! Also, you can find tinned (canned) pumpkin at Waitrose.

We filled our house with our family, 2 other American families, the missionaries from our church, my parents, and 2 Britishy families. I have 2 Britishy friends who had called their spot for Thanksgiving back in July. I don't blame them, it's the best holiday ever. You think of all the things you are thankful for, eat a ton of food, sleep, eat more food, play games or veg on the couch, and eat pie. Really, what more could you want from a holiday? They loved it!

*******

Food! Glorious food!

Elder Morrison is wondering if we're going to make him sit at the kiddie table.

**********

I'll fill you in on Christmas next post. It won't be in April either, I promise!

APC to the rescue!

What's APC? Read on.

I have a bloggy story for ya, but since I don't have pictures, I drew some for ya. Enjoy.

A week-ish or so ago, I went outside to clean the car out. JimmyD was inside with the kids, and I was in a hurry so I could get done before leaving for Book and Pudding Club. (Which is awesome, by the way.) After a few minutes, JimmyD came outside with a jar of calamine cream.

"How much was in here?" he asked.

I looked inside.

"More than that," I said. "Why?"

"I think Sunshine may have eaten a bunch. I found her with this, and she had it all over her hands and face."

He then went inside to Google the effects of eating calamine cream and get the number for Britishy Poison Control. I finished the car, then went in to see how things were going. JimmyD had gotten Sunshine drinking fluids, and called the poison number he had found online.

It didn't work, so he tried another....

( Several minutes later....... )

(Lots more minutes and lots more attempted numbers later.....)

(That's his phone....)

I went into his office to see if I could find any other numbers to call online. The webpage on the screen was one JimmyD had found about what happens if you eat calamine cream. At the bottom of the page, a phone number caught my eye.

AMERICAN POISON CONTROL!!!!!

Of course! I picked up the phone on the desk that calls America for free. (Voice-over IP phone for JimmyD to call American co-workers... and for us to call family.. and poison control)

"Hello, Poison Control..."

30 seconds later, I was speeding off to Book Club, secure with the knowlegde that the worst danger to come from Sunshine's snack was a few explosive diapers.

THE END

**Just so you all know, I guess you call NHS Direct for poisonings. Or America.

Cornucopia O' British-y Fun

Remember me? No? Well, my fault, I guess. I'll hopefully be a better bloggy-pal now since the boys are back in school (woo-hoooo!) but I was looking over another blog of mine and realizing I've made these empty promises before, so I won't fill this one full of well-intentioned lies, too. I have a lot to tell you, so instead of make a long post about one event and then make more empty promises to post about the rest, how about a Cornucopia O' Britishy Fun? Alright then.

*We went on a family vacation to Cornwall. It was rainy a lot and kind of chilly for the beach, but we expected that, so it was still buckets of fun. Buckets. On the beach just down the road from where we were staying they had a contest I've never seen before. No, no, before you even go there, everyone was fully clothed. Come back to me now... out of the gutter... there. They had about 30 numbered stakes in the sand along the shore. Groups of about 4-8-ish people each had around 45 minutes to build a giant sand pile by their stake, and then everyone from the group had to stand on top of it. Then you wait. And wait. Eventually the tide comes in, and if anyone from your sand mound gets wet, your group is out. Last ones standing win. It was about as exciting as it sounds.... "C'mon, Liam, dig faster!" "Go on, Gav, pat that sand down 'round the sides there!" "Here comes one! Oh! 'Bout got yer foot there, eh?" Really, though, it was a great example of Britishy competition. Americans would be too easily bored and give up after the first hour...or two... or three... but the Britishy Folks are amazingly patient and awesome and like their slow-paced fun times. Even when we gave up after a few hours, there were still about 10 groups standing and a whole crowd of eager sand...mound..standing..(?) fans there cheering them on. I love it.

About 2 hrs into the contest:

...and now about 3 hrs in...

*Another Cornwall highlight was Kynance Cove. It's like the Disneyland of beaches, and we had a blast. You have to hike down some cliffs to get there, and it's only there at low tide. Since the sand spends half the time underwater, it is perfect for sand castles. The tide leaves little kiddie-sized pools in the sand behind the big rocks, and the ocean-although freakin' freezin'- has good boogie-boarding waves. You can buy wet-suits, sand toys, and boogie boards in the beach shop, and the whole place is just amazingly beautiful. If you are in Cornwall, go there. Or else. (fist shaking)

*Moving on from our "holiday", Cap'n Jack (our 7-yr old) had a whole day of Culture-Training. (shaking head sadly.) He now is filled with such vital information as the fact that Britishy Folks like to talk about the weather, don't embrace change, and are often found waiting in queues. I don't know how he could have survived life here without that amazing 7 hour course. JimmyD had to do his business-y Culture Training at work, but we weaseled out of the whole Saturday they had scheduled for the entire family session. It would have been a great thing if they had bothered to do it before we moved here, or even within the first month... or two... or three of getting here. So the moral of the story? If they offer you culture training, get them to do it before you go or right after you arrive, or else just laugh at them and tell them you "couldn't be bothered" to do the course, thus showing your Britishy culture skills in your diss.

*The TV Licensing people are after us. We haven't gotten a license since we don't watch live TV, so they keep sending us threatening letters. We might have to get one, I don't really know. They have threatened a few times now to stop by and inspect our TV setup, and I really wish they would, so we would know once and for all if we really have to get the license. (Our TV is hooked up to a computer with all our TV shows, movies, and music on it. I don't know if we could get live TV on our setup.) On the plus side, it makes me feel all edgy and wild to be evading the TV police.

*Stinker has officially decided to refer to tomatoes as to-mah-toes. It was a long and well-thought out decision on his part, and he seems to be pleased with the course he has chosen. He also now refers to "having a turn" as "having a go". Like this: "Mom, can I have a go on the Wii now?"

*Here's a brief overview on shops (stores to us Americans):

-Boots sells beauty products and medicines, not... well... boots.

-Aldi has super-kick-butt-awesome prices on food. Go there.

-Go to the Market (market stalls, sometimes everyday, sometimes weekends, depending on where you live) for your butcher, cheese, and produce.

-Next has such cute little tiny girl clothes and shoes that it is dangerous, but in a good way.

-Marks and Spencers is pricey and posh, but has good quality and inexpensive school uniforms.

-Lush is... well... lush. Ahhh, the hippie-meets-valley-girl goodness of that bath and body store is heavenly.

-Sainsbury's has everything, like a Super Wal-Mart or Super-Target, but not at the same low prices. You can find deals on things like clothes or home supply stuff, but not really on food.

-Argos has what you need for your home and toys for the kids, and my kids can be entertained for hours looking through their ginormous catalogue. Once they are done looking at it you can use it as their booster-seat at the table.

Well, time to pretend to help as JimmyD gets the kids into bed. What? No, I mean... time to get them in bed. I hope the uber-random post I've just given you will fill the void I've left his last month or so, and I plan on doing smaller posts more often. Oh, I did it, there's a potentially empty promise. At least know, if it goes unfulfilled, that I have every intention of keeping it right now. Life (and amazingly slow internet connections) just get in the way sometimes. Until next time, may your oversized car fit into the tiny parking spaces of the Britishy world.

Settled In

I've been thinking a lot lately about what seems normal, what seems weird, what is still cool, and what I'm used to about being all Britishy. (Did you follow that? No? It's cool- read on.) We've lived here about 3 months now- and we've had our stuff for a little over half that time. We are now... officially... settled!

For the first month or so after arrival, people's favorite question was "Are you settling in alright?" The answer then was "No, because I'm sleeping on the floor and cooking with less stuff than you take camping." It took a while, even after getting our belongings... and unpacking and assembling all the Ikea furniture... to feel settled. I guess for all you future expats, here's what we found needed to happen (besides having our stuff) before we felt settled:

- Getting financial things set up.
This meant bank account here, transferring money home, reimbursements for our moving expenses all sorted out, setting up bill-pay for utilities, (well, first figuring out what utilities there were to set up), getting checks, figuring out how to write them, getting our debit cards, figuring out how to use them, etc. There are a million of things like that to get all set up and arranged. Even getting used to the new appearance of cash takes a while before it feels natural.

-Getting the kids in school and a routine.
This involved researching and visiting local schools, applying to the county school board, waiting, waiting more, meeting new teachers, getting uniforms figured out, and getting Stinker used to even attending school at all. He was only in pre-school at home three mornings a week, and here he's all-day real school. He did pretty well. Even after getting all the official things figured out, there are still new habits to form- where to leave backpacks and homework so we can find them, when to do homework, what to do in the morning vs. in the night to get ready.... all those things. We figured them all out just in time for school to let out for the summer.

-Meeting people.
No matter how outgoing and friendly you are, you can only remember so many names and info about people in the first few weeks. Some people can remember all that easily, but for me it took three... or four... or more times of hearing or asking some names before I really knew them. You need to know people's sense of humor, attitudes, etc. before you can really feel comfortable chatting with them. Even if you put forth a huge effort, you just have to hang around people for a while before you feel like they are not a new person to you. And then you have to hope that they aren't scared off by your vast amounts of crazy. Maybe that's just me, though... ; ) I was also busy worrying about the kids... and JimmyD... hoping they were getting to know people, too.

- Feeling like everyday things are familiar.
Roads, stores, pubs(restaurants), what food is at the grocery store, how your appliances work.... Whenever you move to a new place there are a few things that you have to get used to. In a new country, it sometimes seems like everything is just different enough to throw you off. Road signs are different, shopping carts are different (they move sideways like at Ikea and you have to pay to unchain them! You get your money back when you return it.) how and where you go out to eat are different. I can go to the store now without having to really concentrate. I swear I'm not a blonde. It's harder than you'd think!

-Language.
Now, I know that in England they speak the same language as we do in America, but they really don't. I felt extremely handicapped when I tried to speak. It's not just that some words are different- the phrasing is different, too. Then there are the times when a word or phrase that I know, but just don't usually use, is what's normal here. Confused? Here, I'll show you. An American would say "Just park by the curb while I run into the store real quick for some milk." Or at least a Rednecked American. A Britishy person might say, "If you'll just wait by the kerb to stop us getting towed, I'll pop into the shop for some milk." This is actually kind of a fun game. Let's try another one. Hmmm.... A Rednecked American out to eat with a kid throwing a tantrum would say, "Kid, if you don't knock it off right now you'll be sittin' in the truck while we eat." A Britishy person out to eat wouldn't have a child throwing a tantrum, but if they did, they might say "Thomas, let's not have a strop in the middle of the pub. I shouldn't like to have to put you in the Mini whist the rest of us all sit comfortably indoors to eat our supper. There's a good lad." The point of all this was: it takes a while before you feel like you can talk without sounding like an idiot. Then there's the whole accent thing. It threw me at first, but now I kind of forget that people have an accent. I forget that I'm the one with the accent, I guess. I'm always a little surprised when people on the phone know who I am before I say my name, but then I remember that I have a crazy American accent giving me away.

Things now are just about right. I don't feel so out of place that I have to figure out everything I do or say all day long. I do still notice the differences enough to feel like I'm on an adventure. Jimmy D and I still say to each other, "Hey- guess what? We live in England. Weird!"


PS- We dicided to take a long weekend holiday to Edinburgh, Scotland and a week holiday to Cornwall here in England. We'll fill you in on those as they happen.

Comfort Food

Look, I'm here, as promised! Oh, yes, the blog-tastic week is here! It will kind of be catch-up, since I have a lot of things saved up for blogs, like pictures and whatnot.

Since we've arrived, I have been thinking a lot about different cultures' ways of doing things. Everyone on the planet has the same basic needs, and everyone has their own ways of meeting them. No two people are alike, which means there are as many ways to do things as there are people on the earth. When you take that into consideration, it's surprising how many things are similar about cultures and countries across the world. Aaaaand now I'm sounding too much like I'm about to break into an off-key rendition of "Heal the World", so let's move on.

One of the things we take for granted is the familiar food that surrounds us. We don't stop to question every thing we come across on the shelves at the grocery store, because we have seen those items for our whole lives. We know to look for a blue box if we want mac and cheese, or what to expect out of salad dressing. (Betcha didn't know you had expectations of your salad dressing! Well, you do.) There ends up being a lot of value in that easy relationship we form with the things around us. I never would have put it that way until I went food shopping here. It's like the twilight zone: everything is almost exactly the same, but just different enough to make you think way harder than you should have to about things like cheese and canned corn.

I had noticed this, but it didn't really hit home until I took a trip to The Food Company. They are a pricey store that sells a lot of foreign foods. (I'll do the exchange rate conversion for you and tell you the cost in US Dollars) Including...

MOUNTAIN DEW!!!!

only $2.12 a can!

American Marshmallows

$4.01 a bag

Cereal

$9.01 - $12.04 a box

10 packets Quaker Instant Oatmeal

$10.07 a box

(Are you couponers from the U.S. just dying at that?! I used to pick them up on sale, with coupon, for like 50 cents at Albertson's.)

Good ol' Aunt Jemima syrup

$8.56

Box o' Jell-O

only $2.65!

Reeses PB chips (my cookies miss these!!)

$7.50 a bag

Betty Crocker cake mix

$5.30

I didn't buy any more than Jimmy D's Father's Day Mt. Dew (it's like liquid gold!) and a bag of Goldfish crackers, but just seeing the familiar boxes and bags was enough to tempt me into being ripped off for the sake of the warm fuzzies they brought! I didn't expect to feel so emotional about those things! It's not like there aren't substitutes here that are as good (or better) than these products, but they are not mine. It's like rooting for the home team.

Still, I'm not gonna pay 12 bucks for cereal, even if I kind of want to hug the box and bask in its familiarity. So, send me some stuff. ; )

Ups and Downs...and repeat

So, SOMEONE left my laptop on the plane...coughJimmyDcough...so I keep having things happen that are blog-worthy, but no computer to blog with. So, here's the overview, and I'll possibly...or not... get more details in if and when I ever have a computer again.


The days here so far have been rollercoasterific. Just the last few days alone have been...well, I have no words. That tells you something.

Here's the highlights for ya:


* Our air shipment had been delayed a few days, but finally arrived today. Our sea shipment, however, will most likely not arrive to our house until (maybe) the first week of June- not next Monday like we had been originally told. So on the upside: I had a wonderful time unpacking the dishes I sent. It was like Christmas. I have never loved a 9 x 13 pan or a pot more. Sigh. However on the downside: if I had known our air shipment would need to hold us for a month and not a week, I might have packed more wisely. Back to the upside: if they are giving us a date of arrival at all, I have to hope that means our sea shipment is not on the ocean floor...yet.

* Our house is amazing, and I love it. However... it probably has an oil leak. It has reeked of a garage since we moved in, but we were told that it was because of a new boiler being installed and would fade as we used the heating. It hasn't faded. Today when the movers came, one of them kept saying "Wot is 'at 'orrible smell in 'ere?" "I fink it's a gas leak, it is. It's poison! Gonna make yer li-ul ones sick! "Ave the children play in the garden and call the lan'lohd!" He even made the postman "pop in and smell the 'ouse!" The postman agreed- there was a poisonous leaky smell of some kind. We did call the management company about it- the oil...boiler...guy is supposed to check it out tomorrow morning. If we wake up.....


I'm tired, so I'll give you more tomorrow. (It's late here, it's not the poisonous gasses making me tired. Maybe.) There are still a bunch of ups every day to outweigh the downs though. Here are a few of my favo(u)rites and a picture or two to end the post.

*Wandering with our little family through the footpaths into the forest.
*Making Indian food for dinner...and it was cheap and easy! Out of a jar! Wooo!
*The fields of rabbits. It's like a cartoon in some places.
*Going to the church Market Fayre up the road.
*Seeing the letter "Y" in unexpected words, like "fayre" and "tyre".
*My donut friend at the Market in town.
*All the roundabouts. Efficient and awesome.
* Hearing the boys pick up new words and phrases, like "lorry", "squash", and "biscuit".
*Looking out my window and saying "Holy crap, I'm in England!"
*All the green outside.
*The old houses on the road in our village.
*The radio station playing...well...not Miley Cyrus, for one.
*All the new things mixed into everyday life.
*Wandering through golden fields, as pictured below: (Don't worry, we didn't really wander through, just walked carefully a few feet in for a picture.)

Videos O' Britishy Fun

Jimmy D was mowing today. It was sad, and a little bit funny. And sad some more. So... I decided it needed to be recorded for you. After I recorded it, I went on a video spree. The first one is something I will call:

Stuff Here Is Tiny

(I'm too tired to be clever with the title)

It's okay, though. I have realized that the tiny things force me to use moderation. Like with the laundry- instead of dumping everything in the kids' dirty clothes basket into the washer, and then nagging them about all the clean clothes mixed in, I actually go through them (or make the kids do it) and have less wash to do in the end. Or, maybe we just end up smelling a little funny sometimes. It's cool. And with the fridge, I won't have room for moldy leftovers. Bad for science, good for me. See?

Just to be fair, I also did one that I will call:

Not Everything Here Is Tiny, Some Stuff Is Huge-ish

That video was less awesome, though, because you see both of my chins as I lay on the towel. Or really, my chin becomes my neck in a very unflattering sort of way.

The last one here I will call:

British Pantry Fun

We went to Asda today. Asda is kind of like British Wal-Mart. It is even owned by Wal-Mart. I have thought the past few days that things are more similar to home than I thought they would be, (what?) but that was before I tried a big shopping trip. Everything is just different enough to throw you off and make shopping tricky. Hamburger is mince meat, and pricey. (I think). Bacon is not bacon as I know it. If I want bacon bacon, I have to get Pork Belly Strips (or something like that- they are downstairs and I am lazy, so close enough.) Sugar isn't with the baking aisle, it's by all the tea. I don't know if they have cocoa powder- it was hiding somewhere. Mexican products are expensive and scarce. The cheese, though, makes it all worth the trouble. I see now why Wallace is always telling Grommit about it.

Also, just an update on how we're doing. We've been crazy busy getting things done. We've called to have our oil tank filled (for the boiler), gotten pay-as-you-go cell phones, set up a bank account, found Asda, applied to get the boys into school, checked on utilities, internet, garbage pickup, met people in the ward, and eaten some cheese. And donuts.

We're Here!!!

We're here, schtep in time, we're here, schtep in time, umdiddleiddlee umdiddleye, we're here schtep in time!

Okay, sorry, but the event merited the singing.

We made it!

One 4 hr flight, one 2 hr layover, another 8 hr flight, a shuttle to the rental car place, and a 1 1/2 hr drive later, we made it to our house in England! Yay!!!

The flight was actually better than I thought it would be. We only had one major meltdown from a kid (Stinker didn't want to take his Dramamine because "it tastes bad", so he screamed, we threatened, and after everyone at the gate was staring at the parents forcing drugs into their child, he relented.). All three kids slept soundly through the overnight flight. We found a car large enough to transport our crazy large amounts of luggage. (A "people carrier", actually.) Our beloved SatNav got us smoothly to our house. There's a video of our SatNav/people carrier adventure on my Facebook page*.

I LOVE our house. I can't wait until our things get here to set it all up. I think we really got lucky getting it at the price we did- it is amazing. I was prepared for a tiny place with no closets, but this house is big and abounding with fitted wardrobes. (I would have usually said it has a plethora of closets, but "abounding with fitted wardrobes" sounds more British-y.)

Our first grocery shopping trip was... interesting. It didn't start well- we were barely off our nearly 24 hr. traveling adventure, so that was fun to start with. We went to the center of our town, to the shopping center, to see if we could get a phone, but the shops all close early. The shopping center was right next to a Tesco, so we decided to stay there and get some basics for our empty pantry. Outside I had to wait a minute and watch someone else to figure out how to get a cart. They were all chained together with locks on each one. Apparently, you put a one pound coin into a slot, the chain comes unlinked, and you shop. When you return the cart, your coin pops back out for you to take. I don't know if all grocery stores are like that, it might have just been this place. Inside was pretty normal- we found the essentials, but then at the register you bag your own groceries, but I guess everyone usually brings their own bags. The clerk gave us a stack of plastic ones to use, but they weren't on a stand, so we took a long time trying to get them open and unstuck. They are very thin, so I snagged a few extra for when our things inevitably broke through. Outside, Jimmy D had to take a few trips to the car. We were parked across the street in a car park. I'm pretty sure that while he was gone, Sunshine and I watched a drug deal. I'm think we'll find another place to shop next time. At least one with a parking lot outside and no drug dealers.

(Our town is very nice, we just found the most interesting place in it to go for groceries, I think.)

Well, folks, more to come later. Just wanted to let you know we're here, we made it, and everything is going well!

* Any pictures or videos that are too specific on who we are and where we live will be on my facebook page. That way I can leave my blog public. I mean, we're not that sneaky, but then at least I feel like I'm trying.

Visas Schmisas

Okay, so we can't just say "Visas Schmisas" and hop on our plane. Which is why we may have to delay our move a few days. Hopefully the company (supposedly) in charge of getting our Visas taken care of can do enough overnighting and expediting and ...fist shaking? Bribing? I don't know, but enough to get our Visas here before our flight Monday afternoon. Enough of being homeless- it's time to move already!

Keep your fingers crossed!

Tedious Insanity

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. We've been amazingly busy, but with ultra-boring, non-blog-worthy things. Here, I'll list a few, and you pay attention to the *pop* *pop* in your brain as the cells die.

Wiped out the 5 yr old stickies in the fridge
Removed outlet covers and switchplates
Painted all the doors white
Painted all the trim white
Painted all the walls (ugh) tan
Replaced outlet covers and switchplates
Moved stuff upstairs
Moved same stuff to living room
Moved same stuff to the boys' room
Moved the same stuff to the boys' closet
Moved some of the stuff to the in-laws where we live now
Moved that stuff to drawers there
Listened to information from a 4 yr old about Ben Ten and/or Spiderman (repeat daily)
Stained the deck
Scraped gunk from between kitchen floorboards
Called to cancel my cell phone
Called to change our magazines
Called about changing our homeowners insurance to landlord insurance
Blah
Blah
Blah


So, yeah. Only a week and a half to go of the boring, draining, mind-numbing details to finish up here, and then we can actually MOVE!

And then we'll have more of the details to take care of, but they will seem cool because they'll be all Britishy and new. Well, new to us.

A Dose Of Awesome

During the last week or so we have had some of the craziest, busiest, most discouraging, stress-filled days of the whole England-y thing thus far. Days that require bringing out the big guns to cheer us back up. Days that we give ourselves a dose of this:




I just DARE you to try and be anything less than optimistic after that.

Thanks, Brian and Chelsey!

Cheeky People

This morning I had to call the rent-a-car place to let them know we wanted to drop our car off at a different location than where we will pick it up. The last day or two the amazingly large amount of tasks left on out "to-do" list, coupled with extra irritable kids, etc. has left me anxious. Even hearing the automated menu selection from the UK Enterprise location stressed me out- the British accent was a reminder of how much we have left to do, and how much we'll have to figure out when we get there. Usually it makes me think of the adventure, in a good way, that awaits us.

After being put through to a man at the airport location and asking about our car drop-off, I explained that since we were moving there and the car was to hold us over until we bought one, I wanted to know what to do if we needed to extend our rental a few days. Then, bless his cheeky heart, he laughed and said, "You're moving to England! Now, why would you want to do that? Move all the way over here?" I told him he was sounding like my mother-in-law, and he laughed again and said, "I'm sure I am! (and then continuing on in what he thought might be an impression of what she would be saying) Moving all the way to England! Don't you know how dark and rainy it is there every day? Why would you want to go and do a thing like that?"

I felt better. There's nothing like a cheeky British person to remind me how much fun we'll have moving there. Here in the U.S. (especially here in Utah) everyone seems to have zero ability to understand sarcasm. Sarcasm is usually met with confusion. The only people who would banter with me in the U.S. instead of remaining very serious are my family, so the British Folks have already won me over there. Here are a few more of my encounters with The Cheeky for you to enjoy:

When we landed in London for our house-hunting trip, we had to fill out a card with our information to present at the booth where they check our passports. In the space for occupation, I had put "Super Mom". We filled the cards out on the plane, and by the time we were at the booth at the airport, I had forgotten what I had put. The lady at the booth looked over my card, and then got a half smile on her face, which she quickly turned back serious as she said, "Super Mom, eh? Maybe I shouldn't let you in after all. You might show the rest of us regular mums up, and then where would we be?" Now, if someone here in Utah had read that, they most likely would have looked confused and then asked me if that was some sort of day-care business I had started or something. Five bonus awesome points for the cheeky British Folks.

Later on our trip I went in to a Forever 21-ish style store to buy an umbrella. British Folks "queue" into one line, and then go from the front of the line to the next available register. From where I was standing, I could see a few younger girls and one older, white-haired, pot-bellied, bearded man behind the counter. I assumed he was the manager or something. When I got to the front of the line, no-one seemed to be across the counter from him, so when he glanced over I raised my eyebrows at him in an "Is it my turn?" look. I did this again with a head nod ('sup style head nod) and then asked, "Am I next?" He laughed and said, "Not unless you want your electricity worked on!" He was there working on a broken register. The girls behind the counter stifled their laughs. He then said with a twinkle in his eye, "The way you were looking at me I though you were going to ask me to coffee!"

I'm sure I'll have more stories as I go, don't worry.

So, I guess if I am ever feeling overwhelmed and anxious during the move, I just need to call England and wait for a cheeky person to cheer me up. God bless those cheeky British Folks!

Language barrier

I went downstairs to see if Jimmy D was ready for bed, and he is busy trying to hack our new GPS. That reminded me of how the Britishy Folks call their GPS a "SatNav". So, while Jimmy D continues trying to beat the system, I'll make a post about how to speak British...y. I'll put a link to this post over there --------> on the sidebar where you can check out any updates as I learn or remember new translations for you. These will be ones we actually hear people use, not ones we found online and assume are really used. American will be first, listed in RED. Britishy will be second, listed in BLUE. I'll also list times when a synonym of a word we use is more commonly used over in British-land.

• GPS is a SatNav. Example: I turned into the river because my SatNav told me to.
• odds and ends are bits and bobs. Example: You have storage here for all your bits and bobs.
• a closet is a fitted wardrobe. Example: You are very lucky indeed to have a home with fitted wardrobes, aren't you!
• hard is replaced with difficult. Example: It is difficult to not get hit by a bus at a double roundabout.
• restroom is replaced with toilet. Example: Excuse me, where might I find the ladies' toilets?
• Take-out is called takeaway. Example: I'll have that toastie for takeaway, please. *Note- if you order your food at a restaurant to eat-in, you are charged VAT (value-added tax). You are not charged this if you order your food for takeaway.
• A hot or grilled sandwich is a toastie. Example: I would like a refund- I've found a hair in my toastie.
• Elementary school (ages 4-11) is called primary school. Example: My child couldn't get a spot in that oversubscribed primary school.
• Keds-type-shoes are plimsolls. Example: Might I have these pirate plimsolls, Mum?
• A line is a queue. Example: I waited in the queue for hours before it was my turn for the toilets.
• An underground parking garage or parking lot is called a car park. Example: our people carrier nicked some mirrors in the car park.
• A minivan is called a people carrier. Example: I look super-cool driving down the road in my people carrier.
• Stopping by is called popping in, or pop on over, etc. Example: If you'll just pop back in later, we can give you some forms to fill out.
• The ER (Emergency Room) is called the A & E (Accident and Emergency). Example: If you should happen to lose an appendage of some kind, just pop on over to the A & E and they'll see to it.
• A vacation is called a holiday. Example: What are we going to do to fill the time during half-term holiday?!
• Asking your name is replaced with asking what you are called. Example: What is your younger boy called? No, not the one with the pirate hat, the one with the ketchup moustache.
• Miracle Whip is salad cream. Example: With its tangy zip and a third less fat than mayonaise, a sandwich isn't a sandwich without Salad Cream.

I can't for the life of me get the colors to work today, so just know American words listed first, followed by Britishy translations.

• Cell Phone is Mobile (say it Mow-bile). Example: Could you text me on my new mobile number the name of the shop where you discovered they sell Miracle Whip?
• Pants are trousers. Very important distinction, just ask my kids. Example: Those are exceptionally tight trousers you're wearing! No... they don't make you look any less manly...
• Underwear is Pants for Boys, Knickers for girls. (Do you see why the above word replacement is important? It could get awkward if you said "pants" instead of "trousers in the above example, eh?) Example: Mum, I haven't got any clean pants to wear, and no, I won't just turn these inside out, I've got P.E. today!!!
• Jar is Pot. Sometimes. Example: My daughter has eaten about half the pot of Calamine Cream.
• Truck is Lorry. Example: Getting stuck behind a lorry in the construction on the M 25 is rotten.

Just don't let the movers pack the passports...

That's really my only goal in the whole packing insanity. I have higher aspirations, most of which involve a million carefully prepared lists, but even if they all go to pot we'll still be okay just as long as our passports don't accidentally go with the sea freight (40 days to arrive) or air freight (2 weeks to arrive) shipments.

Trying to figure out what should happen first was kind of like deciding where to place the dominoes so that all of them would fall down in the right order. We need to get our house ready to rent, which means new paint and carpet, which means taking the furniture out of the bedrooms, so maybe we should pack our stuff out first, but then we have to declutter, buy furniture and things we are going to want in our sea shipment, sort storage and airfreight things, but then.....

you get the idea.

So, our plan is this:

1. Declutter (mostly done)
2. Make lists of what goes in each shipment (sea, air freight, our airline luggage, giveaway, storage)
* I wanted to move everything except the sea shipment items out of the house or into one of the bedrooms, but then I realized those things are the ones we use day to day, like dishes and clothes, so I can only list them and then separate them last minute when the movers come for the sea items.)
3. Buy things we want shipped, like furniture, clothes, uhh, teacups...? etc.
4. Paint and recarpet

and that's as far as I want to get right now. I'll plan further ahead when we get there. I am also trying to arrange the flight out, decide if we want a long enough stopover on the way to break up the trip, or to just go for it and do it all at once, if we stay at our house right away and get air mattresses or something, things like that.

And there you have a small glimpse into the insanity we have right now. It is pretty chaotic and overwhelming, but we'll get there one way or another. So, if we accidentally pack all our blankets in the sea shipment and go without for a few weeks, we can get more. If I choose wrong and have a long and horrible flight over, at least we'll know better for our next long flight. There is a very easy to see light at the end of this relocating tunnel, so it's all good. True, we'll have a new set of things to deal with after we get there, but we can handle that when we get to it.

Now- I'm off to get our passports and put them in my diaper-bag.

Kick yer heels up...

Step in time! Ummdiddleiddlee umdiddleye... Okay, now that you know where the blog title came from, here's what it's all about...

Our family is (really) moving to London for at least a year, possibly up to three years. It's been a long wait, and I'm pretty sure our neighbors think we're making it all up, but we really are going now. So, here's a blog about our journey. I'd like to make it a public blog so I can share any info I've found with other people who may be Googling their guts out trying to figure out how to do this move like I was. So... sometimes pictures of my family will be facebooked instead of blogged. And, let's give my family super-secret "blog names". Hmmm...

Husband will now be known as Jimmy D
I will be known as Phyllis
Oldest son (7) will be known as Cap'n Jack
Second son (4 1/2) will be known as Stinker
Baby girl will be known as Sunshine

So, Let the bloggity fun begin!