Settled In

I've been thinking a lot lately about what seems normal, what seems weird, what is still cool, and what I'm used to about being all Britishy. (Did you follow that? No? It's cool- read on.) We've lived here about 3 months now- and we've had our stuff for a little over half that time. We are now... officially... settled!

For the first month or so after arrival, people's favorite question was "Are you settling in alright?" The answer then was "No, because I'm sleeping on the floor and cooking with less stuff than you take camping." It took a while, even after getting our belongings... and unpacking and assembling all the Ikea furniture... to feel settled. I guess for all you future expats, here's what we found needed to happen (besides having our stuff) before we felt settled:

- Getting financial things set up.
This meant bank account here, transferring money home, reimbursements for our moving expenses all sorted out, setting up bill-pay for utilities, (well, first figuring out what utilities there were to set up), getting checks, figuring out how to write them, getting our debit cards, figuring out how to use them, etc. There are a million of things like that to get all set up and arranged. Even getting used to the new appearance of cash takes a while before it feels natural.

-Getting the kids in school and a routine.
This involved researching and visiting local schools, applying to the county school board, waiting, waiting more, meeting new teachers, getting uniforms figured out, and getting Stinker used to even attending school at all. He was only in pre-school at home three mornings a week, and here he's all-day real school. He did pretty well. Even after getting all the official things figured out, there are still new habits to form- where to leave backpacks and homework so we can find them, when to do homework, what to do in the morning vs. in the night to get ready.... all those things. We figured them all out just in time for school to let out for the summer.

-Meeting people.
No matter how outgoing and friendly you are, you can only remember so many names and info about people in the first few weeks. Some people can remember all that easily, but for me it took three... or four... or more times of hearing or asking some names before I really knew them. You need to know people's sense of humor, attitudes, etc. before you can really feel comfortable chatting with them. Even if you put forth a huge effort, you just have to hang around people for a while before you feel like they are not a new person to you. And then you have to hope that they aren't scared off by your vast amounts of crazy. Maybe that's just me, though... ; ) I was also busy worrying about the kids... and JimmyD... hoping they were getting to know people, too.

- Feeling like everyday things are familiar.
Roads, stores, pubs(restaurants), what food is at the grocery store, how your appliances work.... Whenever you move to a new place there are a few things that you have to get used to. In a new country, it sometimes seems like everything is just different enough to throw you off. Road signs are different, shopping carts are different (they move sideways like at Ikea and you have to pay to unchain them! You get your money back when you return it.) how and where you go out to eat are different. I can go to the store now without having to really concentrate. I swear I'm not a blonde. It's harder than you'd think!

-Language.
Now, I know that in England they speak the same language as we do in America, but they really don't. I felt extremely handicapped when I tried to speak. It's not just that some words are different- the phrasing is different, too. Then there are the times when a word or phrase that I know, but just don't usually use, is what's normal here. Confused? Here, I'll show you. An American would say "Just park by the curb while I run into the store real quick for some milk." Or at least a Rednecked American. A Britishy person might say, "If you'll just wait by the kerb to stop us getting towed, I'll pop into the shop for some milk." This is actually kind of a fun game. Let's try another one. Hmmm.... A Rednecked American out to eat with a kid throwing a tantrum would say, "Kid, if you don't knock it off right now you'll be sittin' in the truck while we eat." A Britishy person out to eat wouldn't have a child throwing a tantrum, but if they did, they might say "Thomas, let's not have a strop in the middle of the pub. I shouldn't like to have to put you in the Mini whist the rest of us all sit comfortably indoors to eat our supper. There's a good lad." The point of all this was: it takes a while before you feel like you can talk without sounding like an idiot. Then there's the whole accent thing. It threw me at first, but now I kind of forget that people have an accent. I forget that I'm the one with the accent, I guess. I'm always a little surprised when people on the phone know who I am before I say my name, but then I remember that I have a crazy American accent giving me away.

Things now are just about right. I don't feel so out of place that I have to figure out everything I do or say all day long. I do still notice the differences enough to feel like I'm on an adventure. Jimmy D and I still say to each other, "Hey- guess what? We live in England. Weird!"


PS- We dicided to take a long weekend holiday to Edinburgh, Scotland and a week holiday to Cornwall here in England. We'll fill you in on those as they happen.