The Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad (British) Day...week...

Jimmy D is about the easy-going-est person I know. So when he nearly exploded at the vending machine, I knew times were a-gettin rough. There's been a lot of fun times the past few days, but we'll focus on the car-finding fun. Here, let us tell you a tale...

Phyllis: We needed a car fast so we could ditch the expensive rental car. I have been well trained to research my guts out before making a major purchase, but had no computer. So... with minimal knowledge, an unhappy baby (the one I've blog-nicknamed "Sunshine", remember? She was not too sunny...) and a very quickly approaching deadline, we went car shopping. This involved getting money for a car from the bank. Jimmy D, I'll let you take it from here for a while...

Jimmy D: You can take that out.

Phyllis: What, the part about the bank?

Jimmy D: No, just the "Jimmy D. I'll let you take it from here for a while."

Phyllis: The people of the internet want to hear your part of the story. Why don't you tell them about the fun times at the bank?

Jimmy D: *crickets chirping*

Phyllis: Fine. The bank was long and obnoxious, the day's car-hunting was frustrating, overwhelming, and unproductive, Jimmy D had wasted a day off work. The next day we drove to a few lots farther away, found one with a bunch of cars to choose from, but I had no idea which one to choose, and Jimmy D was busy with a crying baby for a few hours and needing to do calls and things for work, so I more or less put all the cars in a circle around me, closed my eyes, spun around, and pointed at one to buy. By that time we had missed getting Stinker from school early (we called to let them know, don't worry.) I was still stressed that I had chosen the wrong car. (IT WASN'T A WELL RESEARCHED CHOICE!!), and now we were cutting it close on getting both the boys from school. (hyperventilating) JimmyD had previously found a car online that he wanted to get as his commuter car so I dropped him off at the station. He took the GPS so he could drive the 2 hours home with the new car. I took the wrong exit at a roundabout (hyperventilate more) and one roundabout leads to more roundabouts that take me farther from where I think I might need to go (hyperventilate more and get honked at a lot) I call Jimmy D in tears to tell him I'm lost (while getting honked at and more lost) and finally make it to a roundabout that looks familiar and get to school just in the nick of time.

AACK! And then.... (Jimmy D, you have to take the story now. It's your story.)

Jimmy D: I took the train to Liverpool and then needed to take the tube to Paddington station and catch a train to Oxford from there. I accidentally got on the wrong line and had to wait a long time for the next stop to get off and come back. I had started the journey late in the afternoon so by the time I finished the 1:45 min train ride from Paddington to Oxford it was 6:45pm. The entire train ride I kept calling the woman that was selling the car to let her know when I would be there because she was picking me up at the station. I kept getting a message that the person was not available. Finally after I sat at the station for awhile I realized I was calling the wrong number. I am retarded.

She takes me out into the country to a place that looks like it used to have horse stalls. A giant shed. That is where she keeps the dozen or so cars she has for sale. I purchased the car, and knew that by now Phyllis would have the kids in bed. I called her and asked her to get online and get insurance. We had been told by car dealers that you can do temporary insurance online. Well it turns out not if you have a US drivers license. None of the UK sites would give us insurance without a valid UK license. So then we tried calling American insurance companies with no luck. For several hours we called anyone and everyone we could think of and at 11pm came to the conclusion that we wouldn't be able to get insurance until the next day. I reclined the seat and settled in for the night in the British countryside.

During the night it was coldish, but I couldn't run the car because they had left the tank completely empty. My iphone was dead from all the calling. I didn't want to run the radio, because again I couldn't start the car to charge the battery. I made it through the night and the next day entertained myself by throwing pebbles at other pebbles. Finally at 12pm Phyllis had the insurance done so I was able to make the 2 hour drive home.

Phyllis: Well done, Jimmy D. I'll finish it up now. That night as I was making dinner I heard a "crunch" followed by screaming from Ellie. She had put her fingers into the hinge side of a door Jimmy D was closing. We grabbed some ice in a towel and the kids shoes and hurried to the hospital to make sure the "crunch" sound wasn't her little bones. They got her in for an x-ray right away, but then sent us back to the waiting room until a doctor could look at the x-rays. It was a long wait. Jimmy D went to the vending machine to get the boys a drink. They chose one, Jimmy D paid, and it got stuck. He gritted his teeth, found more change, and had the boys pick a different drink. It got stuck, too. Have you ever seen the part in Father Of The Bride when Steve Martin finally loses it in the grocery store over the hot dog vs. bun ratio? Get it in your mind.... ok. That was poor exhausted Jimmy D once the second drink didn't fall. He roared, then ripped the vending machine off the floor and hucked it through the window. Okay, so not really the last part, but he was close. The receptionist must have noticed, because she brought him a bottle of juice. I think she envisioned the machine ending up though the window as well.... or maybe she could tell it had been one of those days.

Here's a reenactment of Jimmy D's night in the uninsured car:

Here's his car, now fully insured and finally in our driveway:

We pick my car up tomorrow. Wish us luck!